Read Between the Lines

My love

The sun shines in softly through the window as a gentle breeze dances with the sheer white drapes. As I stretch out my sleeping muscles, I hear a soft moan beside me. My dearest love snuggles closer to me and lays her head upon my cheast as she sleepily wraps her arms around me. A small flash of light catches my eye, the shimmering of the ring on her left hand and I feel my heart swell with love. I can’t help but smile at her sweet innocence. As I look upon her face; her soft, delicate features, she looks so peaceful, no trace of any of the pain she has suffered through to get to where we are. A small tendril of hair fell across her face and my arm instinctly moved to brush it behind her ear. I just think how incredible it is, how we fit together so perfectly, how we found peace together and that we found eachother. I draw her up in my arms as she opens her tired eyes and looks up at me with those brilliant crystal blue orbs that always hold me in amazement. I gently lift her chin, drawing her lips to mine. I love this woman. She is my heart, my soul, my very existance. I could never survive without her.

For Diane Jonasson

Let strength be your wings and soar high above the clouds of freedom and hope.
A safe place where no earthly pain can find you. You are safe from your suffering.
Your friends surround you and hold you close because we have faith that you will overcome.
We will never cease be your support you and never stop giving unending care.
We are your shoulders to cry on and the ones who will never give up on you.
Hold on because your hope and strength will never be defeated.

Butterflies

Butterflies in my stomach as you smile at me with your small crooked smile,
You snake your arms around my waste and pull me close. I can’t help but feel safe inside your strong, protecting arms.
I’m scared because I don’t know what could happen, but I know what I want to happen.
I hold my breath as your face is just a few inches from mine. I look hesitantly at you as your brown eyes look down, studying me.
I send a silent prayer that you can’t see my butterflies, but that you can see how badly I want you to feel the same.
We sway gently to the music playing, but standing on the dance floor, looking into your transfixing eyes, the world seems to fade and all I can think about is what I can’t help feel for you.
Butterflies fill me and I just want to spend the night in your arms, close you, wishing that butterflies fill you too.

My Life

What you see is not always what you get,

For what you see can be deceiving.

Many do not know the real me, who I truly am.

My life is full of trap doors, illusions and hidden meanings.

My mind is a maze, a portal to another world.

A world where even the bravest of men dare not tread.

For those who have seen into that true hell that is my life dearly regret it.

It is a world of sorrow, hatred and pain.

A world where many could not survive, it is a mystery how I do.

In this world of unending darkness one must tread carefully,

For one wrong move and the darkness would swallow you whole.

It devourers all light and lives within my soul and mind.

It is this constant darkness that threatens my sanity and even my very life and soul.

So if you think you really know me or you know what is in my head,

Think again, you don’t want to know and be glad this isn’t your life.

Would you miss me?

Would you miss me?

Have I impacted the people I have meet to the point where they would grieve me?

I have been sad, lonely and I wish I had the courage to leave

But I must ask before I go

Would you miss me?

But how could you, for many do not know the real me,

You know the disguise,

One I have built up to keep myself safe,

Safe from the hurt.

I’m afraid that if I showed the real me,

I would not be accepted,

But instead faced with the bitter hurt of rejection.

So how could you truly miss the me you do not know.

If I left could you ever miss me?

How could you ever know me?

But if you were one of the few who did know me

Would you truly miss me?

Could anyone truly care about me if they truly knew me?

Because if you could and would,

Then I might stay.

letting you in

Im letting you in

into my heart

you might just get it

you just might be the one

the one to take it

but please handle with care

dont break it…

please dont break me

I wish

I wish I were invisible 

I wish I could disappear

I wish I would never shed another tear 

I wish I could feel no pain

I wish I would never be sad again

I wish I had someone to love who loved me in return

I wish I could never shed another tear

I wish I were invisible

I wish I could disappear